


Nothing But Air

by rawrlsy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AkaBoku - Freeform, Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, after graduation, angsty, fuck im sorry man like i cried while i wrote this, im sorry readers, maybe for a little bit, not really it's not really that fluffy, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6090091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawrlsy/pseuds/rawrlsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi and Bokuto are used to being thousands of miles apart.</p><p>Now, Akaashi just can't let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing But Air

**Author's Note:**

> Note: It's rated this way because there is a suicide mention/implication.
> 
> This was for the prompt I received on tumblr: things you said over the phone.
> 
> As usual, I sort of twisted this around a little.
> 
> Leave me any feedback on how I can improve, and thanks so much for reading this! <3

The Present

Akaashi stood outside at his hotel balcony, a warm, summer breeze lifting the hair at his temples. He lightly touched his temples and closed his eyes. He wished that those were Bokuto’s fingers instead.

In the background, the television broadcasted the national news. Of course it was muted, though. Akaashi didn’t want to hear it, not this evening, and not any evening soon. He just had the TV on out of habit, since he always watched the evening news with Bokuto. Akaashi heaved a heavy sigh and looked down. He was nine stories up.

If a person jumped from that height, would he die instantly? Or would he be in pain while he felt every broken bone in his body?

Akaashi didn’t care either way.

He gripped the balcony’s railings, fighting back the tears that were threatening to wash over him. It had already been a month, everything had already been cancelled, but the wound wasn’t closing. He took his phone out of his pocket and his fingers speed-dialed “1” before he could stop himself. Gritting his teeth, he brought his phone to his ear.

After a few seconds, Akaashi opened his mouth to speak, but only a strangled whisper escaped his lips.

“Bokuto-san.”

 

One Month Ago

“I’m already at the hotel, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said into the receiver.

“Ah, I’m sorry, Akaashi, but we missed our flight,” Bokuto sighed on the other end. “The guys wanted to celebrate our win, and we were at the karaoke bar for too long. We just lost track of time.”

 “Congratulations again on your win. I watched the game on the television – you were superb,” Akaashi said, smiling to himself.

“Stop! How many times are you going to say that?” Bokuto exclaimed. Akaashi could practically see him glowing with pride. “I’d rather be celebrating it with you than with these losers – Ow!” Laughter resonated on Bokuto’s end as his teammates laughed at their ace getting beat on by their setter. Akaashi heard the loudness fade away as Bokuto, he assumed, moved to a quieter section of the airport. “Anyway, I’m coming as soon as I can. The flight keeps on getting delayed because of the heavy storms between here and Japan.”

“It can’t be helped. And it’s alright, I don’t mind waiting.”

Akaashi had always been the first one to arrive in their hotel in Sapporo, because Bokuto’s flights were always delayed. Bokuto was usually travelling with the national volleyball team, but they were stationed in Sapporo whenever they were in Japan. Akaashi stayed in Tokyo after graduating, working for a technology company. To save Bokuto from traveling even more than he already did, they had agreed that Akaashi would fly to Sapporo whenever Bokuto was in Japan, which wasn’t much to Bokuto’s liking. Akaashi won the argument though, naturally.

“No, but this is different,” Bokuto whined. “We’re getting married, and _you’re_ the one doing all the preparations!”

Akaashi blinked, an unamused expression on his face. “Bokuto-san, whenever I ask you for your opinion, do you remember what you tell me?” Akaashi cleared his throat. “’Akaashi, it’s up to you!’” Akaashi exclaimed in his best Bokuto impression. Bokuto howled with laughter.

“Okay, okay, fine,” Bokuto said. “I just can’t wait, that’s all.”

“I know. Just hold on for eight more hours, Bokuto-san.”

“I will.” A pause. Then, “I love you, Akaashi.”

Akaashi blushed deeply. No matter how many times Bokuto said it, it never failed to take Akaashi aback. Akaashi smiled contently and replied, “I love you too, Bokuto-san.”

~~~~~~~~~

Akaashi woke up the following morning a few minutes too late, and he rushed through his morning routine so he could pick up Bokuto from the airport. He cursed himself for setting the alarm twenty minutes later, forgetting that the roads to get from the hotel to the main highway were usually busy. Bokuto’s plane probably already landed. Akaashi checked his phone for any message from Bokuto, but there was nothing. He thought about giving Bokuto a call, but he didn’t want to waste any more time. As he was getting ready, he turned the television on to see how to best avoid the traffic between the hotel and the airport, minimizing his traveling time. As the television played the news, he stopped was he was doing and watched it, each breath becoming shorter and shorter.

Breaking news headlines dominated every single news source he watched.

Akaashi flipped through multiple channels in complete disbelief, his heart sinking with every headline. He hoped they contradicted each other, that it was all just a dream.

But, each channel only confirmed what he didn’t want to believe. What he _couldn’t_ believe.

Akaashi sank down at the foot of the bed, his heart suffocating itself around the pain. He gripped his throat. He wanted to tear his eyes off the television, but they stayed glued on the screen, frantic words dashing across as the news channel relayed the tragedy to its viewers.

Akaashi thought it was all a mistake. How many flights were in the air at any given time? Hundreds, if not thousands.

But, how many flights flew out of Hawaii and into Japan last night? And, of those flights, how many carried Japan’s –

It just couldn’t be.

Akaashi’s hands violently shook as he reached for his phone, his fingers fumbling for Bokuto’s number. He tried to stop his shaking enough to press speed dial “1”, but it took him multiple attempts to call. When he finally did it, he smashed his phone to his ear, a small slither of hope slowly getting consumed by darkness with every passing ring.

When finally –

“Heyooo! You reached Bokuto Kotarou, but I’m not free right now, so leave your message –”

Before the message could even finish playing, Akaashi threw his phone against the wall, a silent scream escaping his mouth. He leaned forward, his knees hit the carpeted floor, and he clutched himself. He suddenly missed Bokuto’s strong arms around him, safe in his embrace. That would never happen again.

 Akaashi’s body wracked with sobs.

In the background, the news reporters repeated the news to those who just tuned in.

_Flight 454, from Hawaii to Japan, crashed into the Pacific Ocean last night in the tropical storm that grew into small hurricane. Victims included tourists from America, exchange students, and the Japanese National Volleyball team…_

The Present

They had always stayed at this hotel whenever they met each other in Sapporo. Bokuto had wanted the ninth floor, because it was the sum of their jersey numbers they wore when they played volleyball together at Fukurodani.

Four plus five equals nine.

Akaashi had stayed in this hotel for the past month, unable to go back to the home that he shared with Bokuto back in Tokyo. There were too many memories there, too much of Bokuto’s essence still emanated from their belongings.

But, it wasn’t like this hotel was any better.

Akaashi sat on the balcony railing, looking over his shoulder at the drop. His phone was still in his ear, and he said “Bokuto-san” with every ring. Tears began to form the closer he got to Bokuto’s voice mail message. Akaashi would call just to hear his voice, but he could never listen to the entire message without hanging up. The pain was too great.

This time, though, Akaashi had the resolve to hear it to the end.

“Heyooo!” You reached Bokuto Kotarou, but I’m not free right now, so leave your message whenever the _beeeeeep_ goes off! I’ll get back to you soon, unless you’re Kuroo, then try back never. Okay, bye!”

Akaashi allowed himself the smallest of smiles. Bokuto’s humor was another thing that he achingly missed. He took a deep breath to steady himself before the beep went off.

 “Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said above a whisper. His eyes were glued at the ground below, a nine story drop. Nothing but air separated them. “Bokuto-san…Please,” Akaashi said, his voice fighting tears. “Please come back. Please, just – I want to see you again. I already buried you, but it doesn’t feel real.” Tears began to fall from Akaashi’s eyes. “I want to see you again. We were going to get – get married, remember? Oh God, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi sobbed, his voice thick with tears. “Why were you taken from me? Why? _Why?_ ”

Akaashi sat on the balcony railing, sobbing quietly, his entire body shaking. “You left too early. We were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. I love you, I’ll never stop loving you. Bokuto-san, just please…” Akaashi trailed off, his sorrow consuming him. Before, his sobs would echo in the city. Now, they were contained, sharing his sadness with only himself.

He felt so alone.

He wanted to join Bokuto.

There was nothing but air.

Bokuto fell through the sky, and so could he.

A beep resounded again at the end of the line. An automated message began to speak. “I’m sorry, but you have reached your allotted time to leave a message. If you’d like to leave another message, please press one. If you want to hear the message, please press –”

Akaashi hung up, his cracked phone cradled in his hands. He closed his eyes in an effort to calm himself, but his soul was a ship lost in a gray and forceful storm.

He wouldn’t want Akaashi to live like this. He would have wanted Akaashi to be free from this burden, this aching. Akaashi knew this. He gripped his phone, and pushed off.

Akaashi fell felt nothing but air for a little while, until his feet landed again.

Walking off of the balcony, he entered his hotel room and packed his things. He left the hotel behind, and returned to Tokyo, to the house where he spent those wonderful, beautiful, and unforgettable years with the love of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! Leave me any feedback, I would love to know how I can improve! <3


End file.
